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do you make your kids pay??

December 21st, 2019 at 01:38 am

Our kids still live with us..they are 26 & 28..the 28 year old has chronic illness so will probably live at home for her entire life and we are fine with that..she is such an easy person to live with. Our other daughter is still studying so she will live with us till she finishes next year and get a full time job and she works as well.
We were talking to friends of our and they thought we were wrong to be charging our kids to live at home..they help py the rent/gas/elec/water...they pay their own insurances/car rego/phone etc...but we think they are old enough (have been doing this a few years now) to learn how to budget and be resposible while living at home for when they move out...or if our eldest stay living with us...she can help pay for the household...we don't charge them for food unless they buy something they want themselves.
Do others do this or what do you think about this?
We started when they were like 5 and got pocket money that we had a system where they had to figure out their pocket money with us..they were taxed 10%, they had to save 10%, pay 5% sick pay and then the rest was theirs to do what they wanted...if they were sick and couldn't do chores then they still got the pocket money for that week as they had paid a sickness benefit...it was a good way to teach them about money and they loved it...and yes all the money we deducted got put into their bank account..so we think we have instilled pretty good budgeting skills with our girls...others think we are mean parents and that the kids should be having fun and worrying about their own money not paying bills...I disagree..so would like others opinions!!

Posted in Personal Finance | 18 Comments »

18 Responses to “do you make your kids pay??”

  1. disneysteve Says:
    December 21st, 2019 at 02:28 am 1576895302
    1576895302

    Our daughter is 24. She graduated college in May 2018 and remains at home with us. She pays us $200/month. I came up with that figure because it roughly covers her auto insurance, health insurance, and cell phone bill. We don't currently charge her "rent" but it isn't like having her live here actually costs us a lot. We have no mortgage. Utilities are a bit higher with 3 people than with 2 but it's nothing major. We do pay for food, but if she eats out or buys stuff on her own, she pays for that. She puts gas in her car and covers routine car maintenance though we may help out with big bills.

    She's funding her Roth and putting money in non-retirement savings monthly. She paid off her student loans. And she isn't earning a ton of money. So for now, we're okay with this arrangement. If her income rises, we'll revisit the amount, and she knows that and agrees.

    I figure as long as she's generally on the right track and being responsible with her money, we're happy to help out.

  2. Smallsteps Says:
    December 21st, 2019 at 03:06 am 1576897572
    1576897572

    I think it varies depending on the family situation.
    I know many parents that did not let their kids even get a drivers license or drive unless they could cover their portion of auto insurance and they had a set amount that came into play after school was done. I know families now that need that in order to make their rent etc.

    When my kids were working and out of high school they started to pay a bit to chip in. Sometimes they picked up some groceries other then that they grabbed a bill out of the mail and paid it directly ... utility or phone or cable are examples.
    I did the same when i was 18 and working it was no where near what real rent would be but got me into the habit of paying my own ways.

  3. mumof2 Says:
    December 21st, 2019 at 03:06 am 1576897617
    1576897617

    Our girls are happy to pay what they pay...our insurances are a bit different over here and its cheaper for them to pay for their own...we don't have family plan phone deals over here like they do in the US...although they only pay like $20 & $40 month plan as one uses her phone a lot more than the other....I think it is reasonable that they learn to budget and live in the real world...a bit of a shock if they didn't then moved out on their own...also over here they don't do scholarships like they do over there etc...so some big differences

  4. mumof2 Says:
    December 21st, 2019 at 03:10 am 1576897851
    1576897851

    When we moved in august it was to a much bigger house because we needed it for 4 adults...we couldn't find another one that fitted us all in so this one is like 2 houses with a joint kitchen/dining room...so basically they have their end of the house and we have ours it works well for all of us....and it was their idea that they split the extra rent rent between them...and we were happy to do that!! But with 3 of us with chronic illnesses it can be hard but we make it work

  5. Smallsteps Says:
    December 21st, 2019 at 03:25 am 1576898716
    1576898716

    There are a few people i know in similar situations with chronic illness or disability that creates a different world to deal with. if you find it works for you all that is great. For many starting out paying a rent to parents is a good start before just going right out to the real world or at least here.

  6. Jenn Says:
    December 21st, 2019 at 04:14 am 1576901692
    1576901692

    While ours are in college and making decent grades, we pay everything except entertainment and clothes. We haven't had any boomerang kids yet. The two oldest are 24 and 21. The oldest supports himself except health insurance, and the 21 year old has a job lined up when he graduates in May so I expect him to do the same.

    If any of ours do request to live at home for a while after graduation, I'd agree but have them contribute by paying a household bill and by taking on a household chore or two.

  7. creditcardfree Says:
    December 21st, 2019 at 12:30 pm 1576931449
    1576931449

    I think you did a great job and taught them the real world! And now even while living at home they are aware there are costs involved no matter where you live. I have a friend who just started charging her son, and it's not going well, at least from the son's point of view. I definitely am looking forward to passing on some of our costs (insurances and cell phone bill) to our daughter when she gets her job out of college.

  8. Carol Says:
    December 21st, 2019 at 01:07 pm 1576933643
    1576933643

    I think you are doing the right thing, especially since they are 26 and 28. Afterall, in different circumstances they might be on their own and paying it all.

  9. GratefulSaver Says:
    December 21st, 2019 at 02:24 pm 1576938257
    1576938257

    While they were in college, we paid all expenses including tuition and texbooks. They worked part-time and covered their car gas and clothing. We gave them two years after college to secure good jobs and save money. DS #1 moved out six years ago and have never asked for any money. My youngest is 25 now with an excellent job and still lives at home. He pays for his car insurance, the property taxes ($700 a month) and has taken it upon himself to pay for the heating bill (for about a year now). Once we leave to warmer state for the winter, he'll cover all utilities and property taxes. We will eventually sell the house to him. Adult children should contribute to the household. There are no free rides in the real world.

  10. Sue Says:
    December 21st, 2019 at 02:57 pm 1576940236
    1576940236

    I too believe you are doing the right thing. They are no longer kids but young adults and you've prepared them to be able support themselves if they ever decide to leave home.

  11. Lucky Robin Says:
    December 21st, 2019 at 09:49 pm 1576964966
    1576964966

    If they are working they should contribute.

  12. mumof2 Says:
    December 22nd, 2019 at 01:13 am 1576977182
    1576977182

    Thankyou it is good to see like minded people...as I said it works for us and they are happy to do it...was actually their idea...but I find many kids these days do feel entitled and don't want to pay themselves...but good to see that I am not alone...

  13. rob62521 Says:
    December 22nd, 2019 at 07:25 pm 1577042711
    1577042711

    Having no kids, I can only go by what my folks did. When I finished college and moved back home after living in Chicago for a year, I paid so much a week to help with groceries and I paid the phone bill each month. I was responsible for my own car insurance and taxes and things like that. I helped with chores.

    So no, I don't think you are alone. It is good you are teaching your kids responsibility and if they suggested helping with expenses, they most certainly are not entitled. You've done a good job raising them.

  14. mumof2 Says:
    December 22nd, 2019 at 11:28 pm 1577057298
    1577057298

    thanks Rob..we really do have great kids...never had any issues with them..feeling really blessed with the children we have...as my daughter says..."you raised us mom you didn't drag us up" so thankyou it is nice to hear that we have done a great job!!

  15. Amber Says:
    December 23rd, 2019 at 02:29 am 1577068184
    1577068184

    I was upset when my mom had me to pay bills, my friends didn’t have to. I can say, I’m glad she did. I’m a stickler about paying things due on time and before the due date. It taught me responsibility.

    Now I look at my SO, never had to pay bills/rent and pays everything late. His Neice, is the same way.
    Personally I think it helps

  16. LivingAlmostLarge Says:
    December 24th, 2019 at 04:16 am 1577160991
    1577160991

    Absolutely. I don't think you did anything wrong. I paid for every penny since 21 and DH since 22. We did not have a hand out at all. We paid for everything. You have raised them RIGHT I think. I'd be eternally grateful if you were my parents.

    As it is I am grateful for my parents for helping me be a responsible adult.

  17. terri77 Says:
    December 26th, 2019 at 05:46 pm 1577382373
    1577382373

    I paid my parents rent when I lived at home. It was a very nominal amount & allowed me to save a 20% down payment when I bought my home. I think a 26 & 28 year old should be paying something.

  18. latestart Says:
    December 29th, 2019 at 04:38 am 1577594315
    1577594315

    I paid rent (20% of my take home pay) for all but 4 months that I worked and lived in my parents house. The only reason rent was stopped was so I could afford my wedding.

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